I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
