tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
