When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize