I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
