thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Two words: blizzard sex
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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