You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
