i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
