You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
