was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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