I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
