please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
