This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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