Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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