Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
