Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize