She announced her abortion via fbk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
