I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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