you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
