You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
