went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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