and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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