My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
