And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
