Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
