Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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