We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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