He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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