i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you told grandpa to call you daddy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
