Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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