Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just cut my nipple shaving
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
