jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
cat food counts as protein by the way
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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