new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize