I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
