You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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