you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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