Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
