i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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