Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
