dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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