Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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