You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he fucked my hip out of place.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
