that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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