Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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