I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
