The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
