Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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