good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize