If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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