i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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