I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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