Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
