Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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