For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize