he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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