Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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