gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You can't special order awesome
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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