I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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