can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize