its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need a burrito and a hug.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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