you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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