my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
