This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
