this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
